So, usually people are nice about my blog. I mean, it’s my personal blog. If you don’t like me, or don’t want to listen to what I have to say about my life, then you don’t have to go to it and read it. You are free! But, there is someone (I think it’s a man and will be responding as so, but if, in fact, you are a woman, my deepest apologies), who chose to go to my blog, who chose to read it, and decided afterwards that he legitimately hates me. So, he wrote me a comment explaining to me just how I am, in fact, the worst writer of all time, a textbook narcissist, and the scum of the earth. So I stared at this mean comment, and tried to decide what to do. If I approve it, it’s both embarrassing and the meanest, ugliest thing to ever be on the site. If I delete it, then I feel like I’m a coward. So I put a lot of thought into it. I decided to not only approve it, but make it a post so that EVERYONE can see for themselves everything that’s wrong with me, and then can not come back if they don’t want to. On the other hand, you could email him and tell him that he’s a jerk and a bully. Not that I’m encouraging one route over the other. Again, you all are free!
Here are his thoughts on me:
Posted by “Disgusted,” email address email@example.com
I kept getting spammed to “like” this page so I finally sucked it up and checked it out. It’s been a long time since I have seen something so narcissistic, so self-serving, and so awfully drab. What a very large pile of incessant and superficial nonsense about a girl who so clearly loves to hear herself talk it’s a little nauseating. That she has some followers is a testament that for every textbook narcissist, there are always a solid handful of mindless drones who are all-too willing to subscribe to some egomaniac’s mind-blowing egocentrism and self-adoration. It saddens me that this obviously spoon-fed and spoiled “writer” (used in the loosest possible terms) is taking up so much time doing such mindless blather while the rest of us are actually struggling in the REAL world (not the “oh I wasn’t pretty enough as a teenager and every one of my problems comes from a self-imposed, narrow-minded and myopic view of the world, so I need to write about paltry nonsense for hours a day to comfort myself because I don’t have a noble or genuinely selfless bone in my body to actually contribute to society in a meaningful way” real world). But of course, nothing I say will ever likely make an iota of a difference, so I shall leave it at this and attempt to do something worthwhile to compensate for utterly worthless time I spent at this deplorable site.
Alright, let’s take this step by step.
First, you are angry that you are getting “spammed” to like this site. I don’t know what you’re referring to. I have facebook ads, but that’s only to bring new people to facebook fan page, where I’ve met tons of new people and lots of awesome people post their favorite quotes. It’s been a really fun place for me, and 920 people (and counting) so far are a part of it. You do not need to be. Ads, however, are not spam. In fact, if Facebook is what you’re referring to, you can choose to even “hide” the ads you don’t like (I do it all the time with ones that bug me). If this has been such an enormous source of stress for you, I would think that you would have explored those options. That said, I don’t send emails or unsolicited requests. The website is spread through word of mouth and my friends, on my facebook and my pages (twitter, tumblr, etc). If, however, we are facebook friends and that’s where you keep seeing it, please, for the love of God, un-friend me. Clearly we aren’t real friends, since it appears you hate me. So that’s totally fine. Unfriend me. Don’t like the page, and don’t come to my blog. No one has been spamming you though, so learn your verbage.
As for my narcissistic, self-serving-ness. Sir, this is a blog. Blogs are sort of like an online journal. I actually LOVE to use outside sources (here for instance I used Time magazine) but for all intents and purposes, writing about yourself is part of the point of a blog. If you don’t like me and don’t want to read about me, then LEAVE. Like an adult. With balls. Have the courage to roll your eyes at me and move forward, not send your mean word vomit all over my thoughts and ideas. You may argue that there isn’t a good bone in my body, but you can scour any archives you want – on every facebook page and blog and website in the world – and I promise you you will NEVER find anything cruel like this with my name attached to it. Make of that what you will.
As for the drab comment, your comment didn’t exactly spice up my passion for life or reading either, so watch it Mr. Grinch.
As for me being a textbook narcissist with a following of mindless drones. Clearly, you don’t know the people that read, because of the ones I know they have full, complicated, intelligent lives. To call me a narcissist, yes, I have studied psychology and love to explore different parts of my upbringing with that in mind. Why? 1. Because I enjoy it, since I treat this as a personal journal type place, and 2) because, in my heart of hearts, I think it could be useful to someone. No, not because I love to hear myself talk (although I do love writing, if that’s what you mean), but it’s because I’ve found the best way to help other girls my age, or that are where I was when I was in high school, is to 1) explain how I felt (gives a source of understanding and credibility to their situation), 2) explain my thought process for how and why I moved on from that situation (because I value THEIR intellect and think that they might disagree with me at some point in my line of thinking, or have something they want to contribute) and 3) explain how it’s all working out for me (am I happy? Is it still a mess?)
Now, if you think I’m a spoiled, spoon-fed brat whose only troubles in life were “not being pretty enough,” then clearly you don’t see the value in a blog that talks about issues like body image and body anxiety. That’s ok. I too agree there are much bigger fish to fry in this world. That does not change the fact that many, if not most, women (at least the ones that I grew up with, and yes, maybe we all suck, but then so be it) have struggled at some point or another with their relationship with their body. I had a disease, sir, called “anorexia nervosa.” It is the most fatal of all mental illnesses. Now, maybe you think this is a spoiled rich girl disease. There is some truth to that. That doesn’t change the fact that when I was 16 and online I was able to find TONS of pro-anorexia websites, but not ONE website from a girl that I could relate to speaking with some humor and intellect and compassion about how it felt to be in my shoes and how she CHOSE to get out of it. So, sir, I am choosing to be that person. If I am able to provide comfort to one panicky girl through my writing (yes, even if she’s going through a “narcissistic” phase in her development where, as a human and a sexual being she is aware of her looks, body, and role in society) then, my friend, it will be worth it. Even though I had to deal with assholes like you.
As for dealing with “real world” issues. I have had a very blessed life. My family is healthy, I have food on the table, and I consider it the largest gift in the world that I’m able to put time into something like building a website like this. Many people work really hard, and struggle, to keep their families afloat. If, however, you want to take that, and spend a few minutes reading my blog that you clearly detest, and come up with conclusions like “I don’t understand the real world” or don’t have a genuine bone in my body, then you are clearly unstable and projecting. That’s just unintelligent, reactive, and silly. You could be right, and I might be as deplorable as you suggest, but anyone with sense and intelligence would know that browsing my blog on “body image and relationships” isn’t going to prove that.
So, the moral is, I believe in my blog. I have a happy life, and I’ve met beautiful people through it. You unloaded a whole lot of ugly onto the whole thing, and that is your prerogative. Please, though, in the future stay off of my site or at least out of my comments – unless you want me to start adding your email address to those Facebook ads you so clearly detest.
Notes: featured image by Chase Beck. You can view the original comment here: http://msmorphosis.com/french_women_dont_get_fa/#comments